Monday, February 16, 2009

16 Feb 2009,
Good afternoon, and welcome to the Sgt Dub Breaking News, I'm your blog-host, Sgt Dub. Our first story comes out of California where 7 time Tour de France bicyclist Lance Armstrong has had his bicycle stolen. This is the 2nd such incident in California where a celebrity has had their bike stolen and offered a reward for it's safe return. You may remember the first such incident in 1985 when this individual had the same problem.

Yes, offering a reward only promotes theft of property rather than deter it. Lance, you probably should have gotten on the news and made this statement instead, "Guess what, you just stole a one of kind, unmistakable bicycle and whoever gets caught with it will go to jail, you won't be able to pawn it, you won't be able to ride it, you won't be able to sell it unless that person likes hiding their treasures, here is a picture of it, take a good look America, if you get caught in possession of this bicycle you will be arrested, tried and sentenced to go to jail. Have a nice day."
(disclaimer: Mrs Dub actually made this observation and I felt it was funny enough to elaborate.)


Our 2nd story is a technological sensation we haven't seen since December 31, 1999. That's right not since our fear that computers would discover the rollover from 1999 to 2000 and think it was 1900, realize they hadn't been invented and would just shut themselves down; the switch from analog to digital has this nation in a frenzy. Yes, so much so that the President wanted to put off the change to allow people the chance to make sure they could survive. Why, just today I saw one of our stations scrolling the statement across the television, "if you have cable or satellite you should be ok" I should be ok? They aren't certain? Oklahoma City has of course, opted to make the change tomorrow as previously scheduled and will move on with their lives. If this is my last blog you will now it's because my computer must have been analog and I no longer have reception.
This concludes our breaking news and we bring you back to your normal broadcasting.
I hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day weekend. I took the girls to the PBR. Yes, nothing says I love you like watching someone ride a bull. Both Angela and Shelby went Saturday night and then Angela and I went back to watch the Sunday finals. Oklahoma's own Ryan Dirteater was 1.5 seconds from winning the whole thing, of course, on the back of a 2,000 lb bull, that's a long time. When I was 18, my dad offered to send me to a bull riding school, I respectfully declined. I have always loved the Rodeo and had hoped one day to participate in the Elks Rodeo in my hometown of Woodward, OK, but in something less dangerous. If I had my agility back I think I would make a good clown.
Be safe and have a great day.


Linda said...

I think perhaps Mrs. Dub was on to something there and that's exactly what Lance Armstrong should have done!

Sounds like a great Valentine's Day to me, especially if you're doing something that you love with people that you love. I, personally, spent part of the day in the Emergency Department and there wasn't much of anything to love but - eh - so it goes!

Desert Songbird said...

The family and I went to Chino Bandido on Saturday (I thought of you!), and they had the PBR on the television. It REALLY made me think of you, then!

Anonymous said...

You would think with a bike as expensive as Lance's probably is, he might have lojack or some type of theft deterrent installed on the bike, or just some really awesome insurance, just a thought though. I took my bride to the Amazon Rainforest for our anniversary, the one located in Grapevine, Tx. 17 short years for me.

Kanani said...

Geez, you can't leave anything in the back of a truck anymore. Bummer.

As for the changeover, I was thinking most of cable TV isn't worth watching, and I kinda miss the days with the basic channels and speed racer on the other. I'm not so sure this hundreds of dollars we pay to TimeWarner is really worth it. I mean, after all, I have YouTube.

Wade Huntsinger said...

Team Roping is the bomb. I did it for about a year with my best friend growing up. While I did not have the funds to really get into it being a heeler is the coolest......

MrsDub said...

Is it just me, or does anyone else see the resemblance between Lance and PeeWee?

Amazing Gracie said...

Ha, ha!!! Mrs. Dub - you have one terrific sense of humor!
More breaking news: Did Sgt Dub take the guy's poster?
The sign, which read "Abort Obama Not the Unborn," was returned to Harrison later that day, the report said.

Police spokesman Steve McCool said this morning that the sign was taken in error, and Oklahoma City residents should not be worried that their First Amendment rights will be violated.

Harrison told the officers that in his opinion the words "Abort Obama" meant to impeach him. He told the officers he does not believe in abortion because he is a Christian.
Ah, the life of a policeman - never easy...


xianmarriedmom said...

Hey! When was your birthday? Why did we miss it? Hmm...
Have I told you how great it is to have you back at Express? Your charming wit makes our Friday just fly by! We are so blessed to have you!

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