Saturday, March 03, 2007

03 March 2007, Well, another busy day here in Afghanistan, but nothing worth telling stories about. I mentioned the last two days have been beautiful weather. I woke up this morning, stepped outside and it was snowing. We had a good snow most of the day and this afternoon it started clearing up again.
Claire at "A Little Piece of Me" today showed us a picture of her nephew who fell and got a black eye. This brought back memories and inspired today's post. Since nothing worthwhile happened today, I will instead, take you back in time a few years. In another world, at a different time, I am a civilian, a police officer.
One of my extra duties is working as a bicycle cop, patrolling the neighborhoods. I choose bicycle instead of motorcycle because everyone laughs if you have training wheels on a Harley. Well, we are on the south side of town this particular day, myself and my newest partner. We are riding through the housing complex when our eagle like eyes spot a possible situation. What could it be? A burglar? A robbery? No, just a parked car that might have an expired tag. We begin pedaling. (do you feel the suspense building yet?) This was my partner's first day on actual bike patrol so he takes to the sidewalk. I, the seasoned vet, pop over the curb and cut through the yard. With my eye on our suspect vehicle, I pay little attention to anything else. (Wake Up Call For Sgt Dub!) With just a few inches before contact, I realize there is a clothes-line right in front of me. I only have time to turn my head to the left and it catches me across the right eye, yanking me off of the bike and slamming me to the ground.

Does anyone still buy Jiffy Pop Popcorn? That's what my right eye felt like in those next few minutes. Now, for those of you who know me, and those of you who have been reading for a while should know. I find the funny in just about any situation. By the time I hit the ground, I was laughing. My partner took a look at my eye, which I was holding and immediately got on the radio.
Partner: Bike 1 to Dispatch, we need an ambulance at the corner of SW 16th and S. Westwood.
Dispatch: What's the nature of the call?
Partner: Uh, officer down
Radio: Every officer in a 5 mile radius advising dispatch they are in route
Air 1: En route
Detectives: En route
Me: Get on the radio and tell them exactly what happened, and slow everybody down!
Partner: Uh, dispatch, slow everyone down, Bike 2 fell off his bike.
Me: Laughing again.
Well, of course, everyone is still going to show up, just to look at me. Our Lt. that morning had told us to get some action so he could come by and take pictures. I told my partner to call him and have him come over. He did. I was asked several times while laying there if I wanted to call my wife and tell her I was ok. No, not really, but I finally called her, told her I had an accident falling off my bike and I would call her from the hospital when I got there. I sounded fine so she didn't worry. I get transported to the hospital, then my Major from the division calls.
Major: You ok?
Me: Yes, sir.
Major: What happened?
To readers: (do you remember what happened?)
Me: Well sir, there was about 15 of them, I got several before they jumped me...
Major: That's not the way I'm hearing the story.
Me: I'm ok sir.
They call in a specialist from the eye clinic next door whom it seems took forever to stitch me back up. That was more painful than the injury itself
Needless to say, I did have to cancel the modeling photo shoot I had scheduled that afternoon. Here are the pictures, I wanted to share them with you. Only one or two will show any blood, so if you are queasy, don't look, but nothing bad.

Notice the sidewalk I could have used on the left side?

Very concerned detective.

Several concerned detectives who were in the neighborhood.

Partner in shock explaining to fire fighter medics what happened.

A former bike partner showing great concern. Also laughing, but I wasn't taken down by a 6 year old mad max.

Did someone finally arrive to take me away? Notice partner retelling the story again?
This is a good look.

Ain't it a beauty!

Well, I hope I didn't turn anybody away today. Thanks for strolling down memory lane with me. Be safe and have a great day.


MrsDub said...

My turn . . . now that you've made me sound like the uncaring wife! When you called me, you said "honey I had a "little" accident with my bike, but I'm fine. You just said you were going to the hospital to get "checked out". At no time did you indicate how serious the accident was and that I really should have come to get you. Oh no, you have to be tough guy and scare the crap out of me when I walked in and saw you laying there with your head wrapped up. Just because I didn't get up that one time and drive you to the hospital when you were having chest pains, you're never going to give it a rest! Yes dear, there are just some stories from your past that will never go away, and we all get a good chuckle out of your misadventures. Good thing I sold your bike (oops, did I say that outloud?)

Linda said...

You clothes-lined yourself??? Oh good God!!

As a former police dispatcher who now dispatches ambulances let me just throw my two cents worth in regarding your partner radioing in that he had an "officer down" ... there is nothing in the world that could have made my blood run colder than those two little words. I can only imagine how your poor dispatcher felt to think that one of his or her guys was down - not to mention all of your officers-in-arms listening in! No wonder the calvary responded!

I hope that when you got back on your feet, er, bike that you smacked your partner upside the head for that slip up! And if you didn't, when you get back to the States please do so and tell him it's a delayed reaction from one of your "Blog Faithful"!!

Travis said...

That's hilarious Sarge!!

My stepdad was a CHP for 8 years. From his stories, I know a little of cop humor. I'll bet the jokes that were told about this little incident were priceless!

Glad it wasn't more serious - like a decapitation!!

Claire said...

I am really sorry but i cried laughing at this! I am really glad my wee nephew inspired you to post this. It has made my day (well night).
Also i would like to thank you for all the lovely comments you leave on my blog. I feel like i don't comment enough here, but i lurk regularly.
I will be so happy when you get home, safe and sound.


Oh-My-Gosh! That is a shiner for sure! I love all the comments above...I know guys can be ruthless with the teasing and I bet you really caught it. Thanks for sharing and now I'm on my way to Claire's to see what started all of this!

Flag Gazer said...

Oh - OUCH!!!
but, FUNNY!!

Callie Ann said...

Your such a goof. What a yahoo you are. That was a terrible injury. How long did it take to recover. Do you have a scar? That's a good funny story. You nut

Desert Songbird said...

You know, while I was reading this, I was laughing my butt off. Not because you got hurt, but because it sounds so much like the kind of situation you would get into. And this is just from what I know of you from reading you these past few months. I'm sorry you were hurt, but getting clothes-lined by an ACTUAL clothes line?! Too much!

I hope you get to go home soon, but stick with the patrol cars, would you?

Heather in Beautiful BC said...

Oooohhh... that was a doozy! Your partner looks like he got ALL the attention. He really owes you :) Great story - thanks for the chuckle!

Odat said... that's a funny story to look back's a good thing your eye is ok tho!

Ron Simpson said...

o geeze, that looks like it hurt. If it had been me, I would have managed ot break my nose. I always break my nose. I think I have broken it six or seven times. Glad it wasn't worse. Keep safe in balmy Afghanistan.

Mags said...

Oh. My. Gosh.

That's one tough clothes line.

Skittles said...

Ouch!!!! (Giggle.)

Smalltown RN said...

Double OUCH!!!!!!